Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
