My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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