That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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