my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
