i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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