I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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