I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
