sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
