I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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