btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
