Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
