So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
smell my finger.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
