hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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