Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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