I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
