R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
