i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
