i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
