sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
