I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
