This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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