Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bring me that man meat
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
