well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
smell my finger.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
