i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
