My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
