I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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