I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she smelled like a LAN party
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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