Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
