so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
