i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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