Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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