We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
