he laminated a picture of his dick.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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