On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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