all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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