this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
