Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
