We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
