He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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