The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
