it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
