And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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