He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
