Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
