There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
