Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
