While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
