I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
