Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Jerry, you need to find god
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
