Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
