What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
