Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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