ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
